Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Advent Reflections

December 16th

“Behold a virgin shall be with child…” Matthew 1:23

I lost my virginity at a very young age due to sexual abuse. Sexual abuse, in its many forms, happens more frequently than we would like to acknowledge. I have met many people, male and female, who carry the scars of such experiences. This may seem a dark subject to discuss at Christmas, but the word virgin means something special to me and I want to share it with you.
Several years ago I cried out to God. I couldn’t understand how God could ever restore my lost innocence. My lost innocence, however, wasn’t just about the sexual abuse which I had no control over. It was also about the innocence I chose to lose in other relationships as an adult. I carried so much shame hidden deep inside me. I would see myself as a little girl in filthy clothes huddled up in the corner of a dark cave crying, always crying. I tried to block out the sound of her tears, but when it was very quiet and I wasn’t driving myself hard I could hear her sobs. What could God say to take this away?
An advent book was sent to me several years ago by my Mom called Watch For The Light. One of the advent readings startled me. It set forth that in Christ we are all virgins because His blood redeemed this aspect of our lives physically as well as spiritually. For me this revelation brought His light into that dark cave. His amazing grace wiped the little girl’s tears and brought her to her feet. Old things were passed away, and in Christ I realized I am pure.
If there is a dark cave in your life, I hope this sheds His light and love into it for you. It’s time to leave the cave for good. Walk out with your head held high because God has redeemed you from your past.

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